The Hard Truth: Whores Win!

When I was in my early teen years, I was quite hypersexual. I used to frequent porn, and aspired to be like the porn stars on my screens, I even told my friends that one day I wanted to be a porn star. When I was 16 years old, I remember browsing through Reddit pages of Charli D’amelio subreddits talking exclusively about her body, and how hot she is now that she turned 18. I remember thinking, “I wish I was famous so that men online could thirst after me once I turn 18.” I was insecure, and desperate, taking sensual pictures of myself at that age, with the question in the back of my mind, “Would those men on Reddit like this?”. Later that year, though, I went through a transformation. I descovered the manosphere, or the “redpill”. Men like Sneako, Myron Gaines from the men’s podcast, Fresh&Fit, and Andrew Tate alike, I got sucked into that content. One thing that was hammered into my head that I quickly absorbed was that men don’t like whores. They fuck whores, but don’t want to marry them. “Men only want pure virgins, nothing else! Men want a nice traditional woman who cooks and cleans for them!” And I was like, okay, bet. I spent those next two years really trying to live up to that image that these men said they wanted. I was a good girl, I did retain my virginity, swore to myself I’d save it for marriage, became more religious, etc., I thought I was better than the average woman to tell you the truth. But then, I noticed something. I would say, when I was 18, I took note of how there were women every month or so that’d get really popular online. She would be, usually, a blonde white woman, sometimes not even really that hot, or what I’d call a bombshell, facially, but she’d usually have big breasts, or something about her body that made people want to pay attention to her. These women weren’t really the most “traditional”, they were kind of saucy women, they weren’t afraid of showing off their assets, and men went crazy for them. It started to disgust me, because seeing the new hot girl of the month get popular for not even really being pretty, again facially, but for just showing off her body a little bit? These women mind you, would have a whole career transformation after they’d blow up online, they’d go on podcasts, influencers streams, etc. the whole nine yards! It was almost like they were having a mini press tour of some kind. What disgusted me about it, wasn’t even the women, it was the men for making irrelevant women famous for seemingly nothing. I started seeing this happen more when Lily Philips and Bonnie Blue came onto the scene. Men swore they found her disgusting, yet, so many men attended her little orgy meetups. Bonnie Blue got invited by Andrew Tate himself for an interview, chatting it up, having a seemingly great time with her! He even said he respected her! And I’m not done. The far-right on X weirdly has a lot of women participating in it, who are very proud of the fact that they are a woman online with a pretty face, and will post and flaunt their bodies, even some providing links to their adult content in their bios. These women get messaged by loads of men, and you would think it’d just be lonely men, but believe it or not, some of it are actually the far-right political commentators themselves in the DM’s of some of these girls! And, not most of them, but some of these men are admittedly handsome, why they’d be in a self admitted e-whore’s messages is beyond when they probably could get a woman in real life, very easily. Anyways, I mention all of this because it’s to show that there really isn’t a consequence to being a sleaze online as a woman, in-fact you get propped up, and praised, by men who claim your existence is a negative to society, while they are proudly participating in your games. I realized how much of a scam it is in today’s society to be a good woman. Men will tell you to be good, but, look at what they respond to, look at what they promote! Women are getting famous off of this, it’s not even just being validated online, it’s kickstarting your own personal career! It’s maddening, but they literally do win in the end. You may hate whores, but they’re smiling in their big mansions, with the money that YOU provided for them. They are simply just profiting off of it, some may say that’s very “girlboss” of them. I personally don’t know what to think. I feel cheated a bit honestly. I kept myself pias, and I feel like all it’s done has actually held me back, the more I continue on like this. I feel behind, I feel like I’m missing something in my life. I want to be good, but being good doesn’t grant you the best rewards, not in this material world that we live in. What makes this all somewhat more worth it to me, is that, at the very least I am pleasing to God, and if I died tomorrow, he’d be happy that I kept my virginity. But I’m not completely detatched from the outside, from the material plane, I live in it. I interact with it on a daily basis. It’s hard to continue on, when, everything around me is telling me, and showing me, that being a whore, really is the best route a woman can take. It’s the oldest profession for a reason. You get fame, money, and attention, not just from loser men like you’d expect, but from seemingly, successful and rich men too! What is there to really lose? People say you won’t get married if you sell yourself, that’s not necessarily true. Not all the time at least. Riley Reid, got married, and now has a child, and she was one of the most famous porn stars of our generation. She’s happy and thriving, who’s to say other women aren’t having success too? It’s something to think about, and it’s something I think about more and more these days. I want to be a good girl, but it’s hard, when it seems like being a bad girl is the only way to make it in the world, the only way the men you want, will pay attention to you.  

what’s a girl to do?

the type of men i attract/am drawn to tend to be men who aren’t really sexually aggressive or assertive like that, or they’re sort of passive, so i just look like the sexually aggressive one in comparison. i’ve gone my whole childhood and adolescence thinking boys wanted sexually assertive type of women, that they want a woman who’s obsessed with sex, because i thought boys were obsessed with sex themselves. so everytime i’d talk to boys in school i’d always make it sexual or try to show off my sexuality in some way. example, in middle school, i told a boy that i touch myself because i thought he’d find it hot when actually it made him ghost me for the rest of the school year. and in another instance, i wrote a boy an anonymous sexual letter, telling him that i wanted him to fuck me, and i later found out that letter traumatized him, and he went to the counselor about it. so you see? whenever i was hypersexual, it always backfired. i’ve thought about why this is the case for me, because in my head i was thinking, what am i doing wrong? is this not what boys want? and, i do think it is just because the men who i tend to be like this with are not the sexually aggressive type. yesterday i came across a tweet, from a black man, saying “get you a girl who loves hoes as much as you do” and it showed a quite explicit video of black people at a party, and all the girls were twerking and grinding on each other, quite animalistically, with minimal clothing, or tiny bikinis, their breasts threatening to slip out. it confused me, but then i realized. these men who “love hoes” aren’t the men that come into my life or that i tend to be drawn to, the ones i tend to be drawn to are autistic, or nerdy, social awkward kind of men, not these rappers who live it up in yachts and trap houses with women in bikinis all day. that’s why my sexual aggressiveness doesn’t work or even maybe turns off these men who i’ve dealt with, because their inherent nature is far from a sexually aggressive male who loves women who boldly show off their sexuality. i’ve thought about if maybe it’s also my appearance. people have always said i look innocent, and maybe me being sexual doesn’t really match someone’s version of me they had in their head, that the innocent, quiet, shy girl, masturbates. you’d think that would be in someways a fantasy of theirs though, reminds me of that saying, “the shy ones are the freakiest”, it's a saying to make men go after shy girls in the hopes that they are super sexual and freaky in bed, so, why? why whenever i am outwardly sexual, it backfires? why is it when i am outwardly sexual, men pull away, or ghost me? is this not what they desire? why is it when i am like this, i make them uncomfortable? questions like these are why i got into a redpill, manosphere phase back in 2022-2023, because all i ever wanted to know is what do men really want from women? but i realized it still never worked, and was ultimately, for the most part, useless to me, because even after all that, i still am left wondering the same question, what do men want? do they really want an innocent flower who has never been plucked? or do they want a sexually promiscuous untamed woman? which one am i supposed to be? do i become lily phillips & bonnie blue? look at the amount of men that show up to bonnie blue’s sex orgy sessions, there are huge lineups. but yet if i ever did that, if i ever was a whore, it’d never fly. why do some women get to be like that, and get away with it, but not me? it’s not even like i necessarily want to be a whore, i've conditioned myself to not be hypersexual anymore these days, and shun my own sexuality, so i no longer desire to be as such. but apart of why i've shunned that part of myself is because i just want to be whatever men want me to be, and i thought that men wanted innocence, but yet what they reward online is the opposite of that. look at the women who become popular, are they innocent women? or are they women who show off their assets? i am constantly filled with mixed messaging and i have for my whole life. i remember seeing a tweet by a man that said, “the funnest women to hang out with are the sluts”, ok, so i should become a slut so i’m considered fun? but y’know what's insane? is that tweet came from a muslim man who supposedly promotes traditional values. it’s like, make it make sense. do you understand my confusion now? if i’m too sexual, i get ghosted, if i’m too innocent, oh now i’m boring? what is a girl supposed to do? but again, i realize that, perhaps it’s really just due to the men who i attract. the man who posted that tweet is quite a sexually aggressive, promiscuous male, he has an aggressive personality, a true masculine. perhaps this is why he believes in that statement. i am not attracted to the man who posted that tweet, he is not my type. perhaps this is why. perhaps the answer is super simple, maybe it's right in front of me, but i can't help but feel a dilemma, a confusion, feeling like i'm being told one thing and at the same time being told another. it's frustrated me for so long. i will most likely end up with a man who isn't super aggressive, who doesn't ask me for much in terms of sexuality, in some ways because he feels a little asexual. but i am a sexual person, despite the shy exterior. i want sex. i love sex. even though i have never had it, but i desire it. if i do end up with a man who is practically asexual, i won't get my needs met. and so i'll slowly become more sexually aggressive towards him, wanting more out of the relationship, and now we're back at square one. because if anything, me doing that will just push that man away. this is my dilemma. i am a sexual person, but the men i attract aren't sexually assertive, but i'm not so sexual for the men who are promiscuous, the true masculines, they tend to pass me by because i am not slutty enough for them. i am neither attracted to most of the true masculines, the chads, they don't appeal to me. so what is a girl to do so i don't traumatize or borderline rape the passive man who i will end up with?